You’ve been thinking about divorce for months. Do I go through with it? Do I stay in the marriage? What about the kids? What about me?

Sound familiar?

Divorce is one of the hardest situations to face in life. Not only is the emotional toll huge, but there’s money, the house, and family relationships to consider. It’s no wonder you can get stuck thinking about divorce for what feels like forever.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Here are five tips for when you’re stuck thinking about divorce.

1. Take a deep breath.

I know this isn’t the first tip you expected, but it’s an important one. No matter your decision here, it’s essential to stay centered. You’re on a journey full of complex emotions. The best way through is to breathe, focus, and take care of yourself.

2. Examine why you’re thinking about divorce.

Let’s start simple (but not easy)- if your partner has lifted a hand to you (or your kids), makes you feel bad about yourself, or unsafe in your own home, then the situation is not healthy. Take yourself (and your kids) to a trusted relative if you can. There are also women’s shelters that can help you while you get on your feet. Rescue Salt Lake is an option here in Utah.

Once you’ve answered that question, here are some others to consider:

• Have you tried therapy?
• Have you discussed issues you’re experiencing with your spouse?
• Is there a pattern of behavior (cheating, for example) that keeps happening?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, it’s time to face divorce as a very real possibility.

3. Examine your options.

Each state has different laws regarding divorce. Peaceful Divorce Solutions operates out of Utah. Understanding some of the divorce laws in your state can only help you as you move forward. Additionally, this is the point of the process where you start looking at professionals. We offer a free consultation to help you through these difficult decisions. There are several avenues to divorce including litigation, mediation, collaboration, and doing it yourself.

4. Prepare your paperwork.

Next, getting your ducks in a row is crucial at this point. It’s hard to walk back “I want a divorce” when you haven’t looked at what that might entail. A good professional will walk you through the technical aspects of the divorce- what documentation you need, what the process going forward looks like, and what is next for you.

5. Gather your community.

Finally, as you have been thinking about divorce, hopefully you have also been confided in trusted loved ones. If you’ve been keeping things to yourself, now is the time to let a few know what’s going on. Trying to go through divorce alone will only add to the complexity.

If you don’t feel like you have a community you can rely on, take some time to look at divorce support groups. There are others who have gone through the same thing you have, and can offer support, a listening ear, or even a hug.

Divorce is never easy, but at Peaceful Divorce Solutions, we believe that divorce does not have to end in a broken family. There is a better way forward- a peaceful way.